What makes for a beautiful, compelling life? What characterizes and cultivates such a life? “Rhythms of Renewal” is a program designed to help us grow in the virtues that characterize a beautiful and compelling human life by helping us engage in practices that cultivate such a life. This week, we will seek to grow in the virtue of Joy by engaging the practice of Gratitude.
‘Tis the season for Joy, right? “Joy” appears this time of year in the form of wrapping paper, holiday cards, seasonal decor (indoor or outdoor versions), sappy Hallmark Channel Christmas movies, and pop versions of classic Christmas carols. Perhaps only “love” rivals joy in its potential to be sentimentalized and commercialized. But there’s a reason for that….
Like love, joy is one of the select few traits that humans (nearly) everywhere acknowledge as supremely desirable while also being unable to agree on what it is in the first place. Is joy an emotion? A state of mind? A virtue?
Research psychologists Pamela Ebstyne King and Frederic Defoy observe, “Currently within the psychological literature, diverse conceptualizations of joy exist. In fact, some are contradictory, ranging from involving levity and delight to having substantive and sacred meaning…. That said, the most common denominator is that joy is an emotional response to something good.”[1] King and Defoy go on to argue that these diverse conceptions of joy fall short of capturing the “moral and spiritual nature of Christian joy” and that “joy is best understood as a virtue based on knowing, feeling, and enacting what we should be, what truly matters, and what is good in the ultimate sense.”[2]
In the Scriptures, we see that joy is integral to the Christian life. Rejoicing in the Lord is a major theme in the Psalms, the prayer book of the people of God, in whom is “the fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11). Such joy is both expressed and cultivated in the corporate worship of God’s people (e.g. Psalms 32, 33, 66, 68). In the New Testament, we see that joy is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) that we receive as a gift from God (1 Thessalonians 1:6; Romans 14:17) and share with one another (2 Corinthians 2:3).
This joy in Christ is available to us even in our suffering (James 1:2). Jesus himself shares his joy with his disciples (John 15:11), that same joy that was “set before him” that enabled him to endure the suffering and shame of the cross (Hebrews 12:2). And because this joy in Christ is always available to us, even in the midst of our suffering and struggles, the Scriptures teach us that joy is not just a feeling we hope will emerge, but rather it is a habit we are to practice and a virtue we are called to cultivate - “Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).
Joy is also a major theme of the Advent and Christmas stories of the Gospels. The angel Gabriel promises joy and gladness to Zechariah and Elizabeth (Luke 1:14), and their son John leaps for joy in the womb when Mary visits Elizabeth (Luke 1:44).The angel of the Lord proclaims to the shepherds “good news of great joy for all the people” (Luke 2:10). When wise men from the East see that the star has stopped, they are “overwhelmed with joy” (Matthew 2:10). Joy is the appropriate response to God’s drawing near to us in love, mercy, and salvation.
Cultivating joy is an Advent discipline. And one way to cultivate joy is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is a spiritual practice that cultivates joy because gratitude requires acknowledgement of a gift. Gratitude reframes our experience of life in the world - all of life is a gift from God. Practicing gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have, from what we feel entitled to to what we have been given by grace. Therefore, gratitude is also an inherently relational practice that connects us to God and others in a renewed context of love and joy. Gratitude involves not only our receiving and savoring the gifts we are given but also our connecting to the giver of those gifts.
Dr. Curt Thompson suggests that this kind of relational reconnection is essential to our healing, wholeness, and experience of the life for which we were made. “The defining relational motif for humankind is not that we need to work as hard as we can, or at least harder than we are. It is not to do our best or to guarantee that our children will have a better life than we had. It is not about being right or the acquisition of power. Each of those (and other visions like them) play into the hand of shame’s anxiety. No - rather, we were created for joy. Not a weak and watery concept of joy that merely dilutes our sadness and pain. Rather it is the hard deck on which all of life finds its legs, a byproduct of deeply connected relationships in which each member is consummately known.”[6]
This Advent and Christmas season, let us take up a robust practice of gratitude that reconnects us to God and those whom God has given us to love and enjoy. Let us practice delighting in God’s creation with God and like God, who says, “It is good” over his world and “with you I am well pleased” over his beloved children. Today is a gift from God. Your life is a gift from God. The people in your life are gifts from God. And as mature saints who have gone before us teach us, when we cultivate joy through the practice of gratitude, we begin to see that even the darkness is a gift - because it is in the darkness that the Light of Christ shines most brightly, that we see most clearly that we ourselves are not God, and that we come to truly desire God, the only one in whom there is the fullness of joy.[7]
1. REFLECT. Consider these questions on your own or with a small group:
Who do you think of as a joyful person? What is it like to be around them?
Why do you think gratitude is a practice that cultivates joy?
Who in your life expresses gratitude well? What about their gratitude do you find compelling?
What might make the practice of gratitude difficult?
2. UNMASK THE CORE LIE. One obstacle to our practice of gratitude and growth in joy is our believing the lie: “I am entitled to more than this.” It’s hard to be thankful for what you feel you have earned. It’s also hard to be thankful when you feel you’ve been shortchanged. When we relate to our circumstances through a spirit of entitlement, we become bitter, proud, competitive, and contemptuous people. We never feel we have enough. We are never satisfied, much less joyful. When we lose sight of God’s generous provision for us, as well as our dependency on the generosity of others who have given us opportunities, our hearts can easily turn inward on themselves, and we can begin to see ourselves in a distorted light - wanting to take credit for what we have and blame others for what we feel we lack.
Read the anti-Psalm[8] below as a way to reflect on this.
Anti-Psalm 126
I want more than this.
I deserve more than this.
This is not the life I dreamed of.
Why have I been overlooked?
Other people laugh and shout with joy.
Things work out for other people.
Must be nice.
No one ever does great things for me.
I have worked hard for what I have.
I have had to do it on my own.
Where’s my lucky break?
Where’s my golden opportunity?
So what if I’m a little bitter?
You would be, too.
Everyone else’s life is like a lush garden,
mine a desert.
I’m on the outside looking in.
My life is so disappointing.
It’s not like I haven’t tried…
It just hasn’t worked out for me
the way it does for others.
It’s not fair, but I guess that’s life.
Some are “haves;” I’m a “have not.”
I would love to be one of those people who is “so blessed”
and always posting photos of their easy, delightful life.
To be honest, I deserve that more than they do.
I’ve worked and waited and wept enough, haven’t I?
When will it be my turn?
Or will I go have to go without forever?
Thanks for nothing, I suppose...
Become curious about your believing the core lie. Where in your life do you notice yourself believing the lie: “I am entitled to more than this.” If that doesn’t feel like your core lie, what do you think it might be? Ask the Spirit to give you wisdom.
Become curious about your believing the core lie. What do you feel when you are believing this? What thoughts or behaviors accompany or follow this belief?
3. REMEMBER THE CORE TRUTH. God belongs to you, and you belong to God. In God there is the fullness of joy. His Spirit is with you now. God has clothed you with dignity and good gifts. God has not withheld his Son from you, nor will he withhold from you his promise to give you all things in Christ. You, his beloved child, are an heir to God’s everlasting kingdom of joy. And even today, all you have is a gift from God. Look around, and see! Your life is a gift. And you are a gift to others. Neither your suffering nor your laughter are in vain because you were made for everlasting joy. You are a delight to your Father in heaven, and he loves to share his joy with you.
Psalm 126
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then it was said among the nations,
‘The Lord has done great things for them.’
The Lord has done great things for us,
and we rejoiced.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like the watercourses in the Negeb.
May those who sow in tears
reap with shouts of joy.
Those who go out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
carrying their sheaves.
Become curious about believing the core truth. What do you feel when you are believing the truth instead of the lie? What thoughts or behaviors accompany or follow this belief?
4. FOOD FOR INSPIRATION & IMITATION. Look at how Jesus teaches joy and gratitude in Luke 17:11-19 and exemplifies them in Luke 22:14-20 (especially read in the light of Hebrews 12:2).
Luke 17:11-19
On the way to Jerusalem Jesus was going through the region between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered a village, ten lepers approached him. Keeping their distance, they called out, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” When he saw them, he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were made clean. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice. He prostrated himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus asked, “Were not ten made clean? But the other nine, where are they? Was none of them found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.”
Luke 22:14-20
When the hour came, he took his place at the table, and the apostles with him. He said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; for I tell you, I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he said, “Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”Then he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And he did the same with the cup after supper, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood.
Hebrews 12:2
...looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.
5. GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS. Consider these questions with your Community Group or Triad.
When you think about becoming the person you long to be, what do the virtue of joy and the practice of gratitude have to do with your becoming that person?
How do you think practicing gratitude might help you become a better friend, neighbor, family member, ally, spouse, parent, roommate, or co-worker?
What do you find inspiring about Jesus’ life of joy and gratitude? What’s one way you can imitate Jesus’ gratitude this week?
What gifts has God given you this year that would not (likely) have happened without the pandemic? How has 2020 helped you learn how to give thanks for the “gift of the dark” (to borrow a phrase from St. John of the Cross)?
In light of this conversation, where in your life do you need God’s help right now?
Group exercise: Rejoicing & Giving Thanks Together
With your group, go around and name something you are thankful for about each person. Let everyone take a turn. After everyone has shared, stop to give thanks to God for the gift of one another.
6. MICROPRACTICES FOR THE WEEK.
“Arrow Prayers” — We’ll offer some of these each week. The title comes from Sally Lloyd Jones, whose “Jesus Storybook Bible” many of us have loved and used. The idea is that prayer doesn’t have to be complex to be meaningful and real. Here are some “arrow prayers” for this week’s practice:
Loving Father, every good gift comes from your hand. Thank you.
Generous God, thank you for the gift of today.
Jesus, Light of the World, thank you for the darkness that allows me to see you.
Joy to the world, the Lord is come. Let earth receive her king!
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel has come to me, to us, to this place.
Bite-Sized Scriptures for the Week:
Psalm 16:11b - “In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Philippians 2:4 - “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.”
John 16:22 - “So you have pain now; but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.”
Habit Stacking — Habit-stacking is the practice of adding a new habit onto something you already do habitually (e.g. brushing your teeth, doing the dishes, or walking to work), a term we learned from James Clear, Atomic Habits. Some ideas:
When you wake up in the morning, before you get out of bed, plant seeds of joy. Form a little “half smile” by slightly lifting the corners of your mouth. Why? This little movement of your body awakens your brain to joy. Bonus: try holding the half-smile for 20 seconds while thinking about a joyful memory!
Want to rewire your brain for joy? Close your eyes and call to mind a joyful memory. Now, spend at least 20 seconds savoring the memory. You just created a new neural pathway for joy!
As you walk or drive to work (or bundle up during a snow storm!), take some time to think about God’s gifts to you today. Start small - what gifts of God are you enjoying right now? Then expand your vision to look at God’s generous provision and care for you over time. Give thanks.
At the dinner table, go around and ask what everyone is thankful for. Then go around again and take turns expressing thanks for one another in specific ways. Practice seeing one another as gifts from God, and give thanks.
Micro-Practices of Prayer in Community & Mission
Want to become more joyful? Start a gratitude journal. Review your day, and look for everything for which you are thankful. Then review your week, month, year, season, and life. Don’t bother trying to “count your blessings” (they are too many); just name them and give thanks to God.
Write a thank-you note today to someone who has blessed your life. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was! Write the note and send it. So what if it feels awkward? How would you feel if you received that note?
Want to become better friends with a neighbor or build community on your block? Start by saying, “Thank you,” to a neighbor. Gratitude (when it’s sincere) is the best ice-breaker of all time.
Want to rekindle an old friendship that went cold long ago? Lead with “thank you” and see what happens.
Sources Cited
[1] Pamela King & Frederic Defoy, “Joy as a Virtue: The Means and Ends of Joy.” Journal of Psychology and Theology (January 2020), 3.
[2] King & Defoy, 3.
[3] Westminster Shorter Catechism (1647), Question 1.
[4] Surprised by Joy (London: Geoffrey Bles, 1955).
[5] Leo Tolstoy, quoted in Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame (Downers Grove, Ill: IVP, 2015), 59.
[6] Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame (Downers Grove, Ill: IVP, 2015), 59.
[7] For more on this, see Chapter 6: “Growing Through Pain: The Gift of the Dark” in Chuck DeGroat, The Toughest People to Love (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2014), 107-24.
[8] We got the “anti-Psalm” idea from Dr. David Powlison, “Anti-Psalm 23,” which we use as a model for exploring the Psalms devotionally as windows into both our own hearts and the mercy of God.
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