What makes for a beautiful, compelling life? What characterizes and cultivates such a life? “Rhythms of Renewal” is a program designed to help us grow in the virtues that characterize a beautiful and compelling human life by helping us engage in practices that cultivate such a life. This week, we will seek to grow in the virtue of Humility by engaging the practice of Listening.

Humility is a Christian virtue that gets special attention during Advent. The story of God’s coming to earth as an infant, born to poor parents in a stable in Bethlehem, is a startling revelation of the character of this God who “opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (Proverbs 3:34; 1 Peter 5:6). In Jesus’s incarnation, God comes to us not in pomp and circumstance but in humility.

Philosopher Andrew Pinsent observes that humility is a particularly Christian virtue. “Humility is almost never mentioned in classical non-Christian philosophy. By contrast, humility suddenly gains a very prominent role with respect to the other virtues in the transition to Christian moral theology.”[1] The reason Christians recognize humility as such an important virtue, Pinsent argues, has to do with a Christian understanding of human perfection. Whereas classical philosophers like Aristotle see human perfection as flourishing or happiness, Christian theology understands the same in terms of becoming like God. “We shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2). Yet, our becoming like God is something that only God can do in us. When we attempt to “make ourselves like the Most High” (cf. Isaiah 14:13-15), that is, to attempt to raise ourselves in status or esteem, we engage in the prideful (and ultimately futile) attempt to do what only God can do.

However, when we follow Jesus on the path of humility, we also follow him on the path to glory that God blesses - the path pioneered for us by the Son of God himself, “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name….” (Philippians 2:6-9).

Listening is a spiritual practice that cultivates humility. In order to listen, we have to surrender our self-directed attention and give it to another. In order to listen, we have to de-center our own voices and experiences in order to create space to center the voices and experiences of others. When we listen, we open ourselves to others, to different perspectives, to the truth, to God, to being surprised, to learning, and to being challenged and changed.

This Advent, let us seek to grow in humility by engaging the practice of listening with three audiences in mind:

Listening to God. Use the Lectio Divina or “Advent at Home 2020” resource to guide you in meditating on the Scriptures this week. Ask for God’s Spirit to help you listen to his voice as you read, reflect, and sit in contemplative silence.
Listening to others. Specifically, make a point this week to listen to the people who are most important to you, someone who is different from you who can challenge you to think differently, and at least one person who will speak the truth to you about yourself. Use the “Group Spiritual Direction Guide” and “Anti-Racism Work” resources to help you, if needed.
Listening to yourself. How well do you pay attention to your own thoughts, feelings, experiences, and desires? Many of us fly through the day from one thing to the next without taking the time to reflect, leading to our living in ways that are disconnected from what is going on inside us. Use the “Daily Examen” and “Welcoming Prayer” resources to help you.

1. REFLECT. Consider these questions on your own or with a small group:

Why do you think listening is a practice that cultivates humility? How have you been humbled by listening to others?
Who do you think of as exceptionally humble? What effect does that person have on you?
What makes someone a good listener? What is it like for you when someone listens to you attentively?
What might make the practice of listening difficult or even scary?

2. UNMASK THE CORE LIE. One obstacle to our practice of listening and growth in humility is our believing the lie: “I must promote and defend myself to be okay.” We we lose sight of God as the one who preserves his people and bestows glory upon us in his timing, we often take it upon ourselves to grasp at whatever security (protection) and success (glory) we can achieve for ourselves. Rather than submitting ourselves faithfully to the way of Christ - self-sacrificial love toward God and neighbor - we take up various self-promoting, self-protective ways of living in the world. We think too highly of ourselves and want others to think too highly of us as well. We think more about managing our image and reputation than about seeking God’s kingdom. We care more about looking good than loving our neighbor. We become defensive, even against the truth, when we perceive it as a threat to the illusion of glory we use to prop up our pride and seek affection and esteem from others.

Read the anti-Psalm[2] below as a way to reflect on this.

Anti-Psalm 131

I will lift myself up -
promote myself, raise myself,
make myself look good.
I will set my sights on great things -
achievements, accolades, assets.
I want them all.
I will build for myself a life I can be proud of,
a life that will be respected (even envied) by many.
No dream is too big,
no goal too audacious for me.
I will build a life that is secure -
defended on every side from every threat,
fortified against every liability
that may sneak up or surprise me.
But my soul is agitated within me.
What if I fall short?
What if I can’t protect myself?
What if my best isn’t good enough?
What if I miss another opportunity like I did before?
What if I lose it all?
Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again,
when I could just play and be free -
when I wasn’t on my own
to promote and defend myself.
Sometimes the pressure is too much.
Sometimes I just want to escape.
But I know that doesn’t really help.
My only real hope is in myself -
In what I do, what I control, what I produce.
I have to keep it up.
My future depends on it.
Everything depends on it.
Everything that matters most to me
depends on me alone.

Become curious about your believing the core lie. Where in your life do you notice yourself believing the lie: “I must promote and defend myself to be okay?” If that doesn’t feel like your core lie, what do you think it might be? Ask the Spirit to give you wisdom.

Become curious about your believing the core lie. What do you feel when you are believing this? What thoughts or behaviors accompany or follow this belief?

3. REMEMBER THE CORE TRUTH. Time belongs to God. All the time you have is a gift from God. You cannot control time, but you were never meant to. God numbers your days and establishes the work of your hands. God loves you and keeps your life. God has promised to bring the fullness of his kingdom in his timing, and he calls you to trust him with your life and to watch and wait for him. The one who calls you is faithful.

Psalm 131

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great
and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time on and forevermore.

Become curious about believing the core truth. What do you feel when you are believing the truth instead of the lie? What thoughts or behaviors accompany or follow this belief?

4. FOOD FOR INSPIRATION & IMITATION. Look at how Jesus exemplifies humility in Philippians 2:5-11 and models listening in Luke 24:13-29.

Philippians 2:5-11

Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited,but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross. Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Luke 24:13-29

Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, and when they did not find his body there, they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said; but they did not see him.”Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?” Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things about himself in all the scriptures. As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. But they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.” So he went in to stay with them.

5. GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS. Consider these questions with your Community Group or Triad.

When you think about becoming the person you long to be, what do the virtue of humility and the practice of listening have to do with your becoming that person?
How do you think listening might help you become a better friend, neighbor, family member, ally, spouse, parent, roommate, or co-worker?
What do you find inspiring about Jesus’ life of humility and listening? What’s one way you can imitate Jesus’ humility this week?
What do you tend to get defensive about? What do you think might happen if you replaced your defensiveness with humble listening?
In light of this conversation, where in your life do you need God’s help right now?

6. MICROPRACTICES FOR THE WEEK.

“Arrow Prayers” — We’ll offer some of these each week. The title comes from Sally Lloyd Jones, whose “Jesus Storybook Bible” many of us have loved and used. The idea is that prayer doesn’t have to be complex to be meaningful and real. Here are some “arrow prayers” for this week’s practice:

God, help me to humble myself and to desire your will above all else.
Speak Lord, your servant is listening.
Jesus, humble king, help me to walk in your ways.
Spirit of Life, give me ears to hear your voice.

Bite-Sized Scripture for the Week: 1 Peter 5:5b-7 - And all of you must clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another, for “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Habit Stacking — Habit-stacking is the practice of adding a new habit onto something you already do habitually (e.g. brushing your teeth, doing the dishes, or walking to work), a term we learned from James Clear, Atomic Habits. Some ideas:

As you walk or drive to work this week, do it in silence and pay attention. What do you hear as you keep silence? Ask God to meet you in the silence.
As you do household chores this week, take the opportunity to listen to a podcast or audiobook that helps you understand a perspective different from your own - perhaps of someone with a different racial identity or political affiliation. Listen humbly - not to critique, but only to hear, learn, and grow.
At the dinner table, use the reflection questions from the “Advent at Home 2020” prayer book to to help you practice listening and grow in humility.

Micro-Practices of Prayer in Community & Mission

Want to deepen your relationships? Practice active listening by repeating to your conversation partner what they just told you and asking if you understood them. Example: “I hear you saying that the holidays are always hard for you, but this year is even harder because you are disappointed about not being able to visit your family. Did I understand you?”
Want to deepen your practice of listening with your neighbors? Extend the conversation with these simple words: “Would you say more about that?” Then pay attention.
Want to grow in humility? Ask trusted friends and family members these questions, and really listen to their response: 1) “How do you experience me?” and 2) “What about myself or about you do you wish I understood more deeply?”
With your Community Group or Triad, simply ask one another, “Where in your life would you like God’s comfort this Advent?” Listen to one another, and pray.

Sources Cited

[1] Andrew Pinsent, “Humility.” Pages 242-64 in Michael W. Austin and R. Douglas Geivett, eds., Being Good: Christian Virtues for Everyday Life (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2012), 255.

[2] We got the “anti-Psalm” idea from Dr. David Powlison, “Anti-Psalm 23,” which we use as a model for exploring the Psalms devotionally as windows into both our own hearts and the mercy of God.

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